Over the last 9 years I’ve taught all three kids that you always have to exchange something to get what you want in return.

so we go to work as adults in turn for money to get what we want and pay bills.

ive always been a fan of “trading” something with the kids when they want something, because that’s just how the world works anyway

With the kids being older now, 18, 16, & 9, they are all well-versed with my bargaining

whenever they want money, a gift card, or anything that’s outside the normal they will ask what they can do to earn it or I’ll offer something so I can get a break from some chore around the house since I work 6 days a week currently and my husband 2 jobs.

While it’s not always successful, generally, all parties benefit from this approach. The kids get what they want, and we get something done that we didn’t have time to do

I wouldn’t say it’s foolproof, but it makes things easier, plus they know they have to do something in exchange for what they want

what are some ways you had winning moments as a parents?

The post ways I am preparing my kids for real life appeared first on moms chaos corner.

Where the Pressure Comes From

“I just want to get it right.”
That’s what I whispered to myself after snapping at my kid for the third time that morning. I was running on two hours of sleep, guilt, and coffee—and none of it was enough. In that moment, I felt like I had failed. Again.

But somewhere between the laundry piles, forgotten permission slips, and yet another tantrum in Target, I started to realize something:
Trying to be the perfect mom was slowly breaking me.

Where the Pressure Comes From

Perfection in motherhood isn’t just a personal goal—it’s a cultural obsession.

We see it on Instagram: color-coordinated meals, clean playrooms, smiling kids in matching outfits. We hear it in unsolicited advice: “You should really…” or “When I was raising my kids…” Even in our own minds, the echo of unrealistic expectations rings loud. For many of us, perfectionism is rooted deep—from childhood, trauma, or just a desire to give our kids the best.

But here’s the hard truth: Perfection is a moving target, and we’re the ones getting hurt trying to chase it.

The Cost of Perfectionism

The quest to be a “perfect” mom comes at a price:

• Constant burnout from doing it all and never feeling like it’s enough
• Anxiety and guilt over every decision, from screen time to snack choices
• Emotional distance from our kids when we’re more focused on outcomes than connection
• A harmful message that says love must be earned by doing everything “right”

Worse, our children start to absorb the same pressure. They learn that love is conditional, that mistakes aren’t safe, and that being vulnerable isn’t okay.

That’s not the legacy we want to leave.

Choosing Presence Over Perfection

So what if we stopped aiming for perfect—and started aiming for real?

Letting go doesn’t mean not caring. It means loosening our grip so we can hold space for what really matters. Things like…

• Laughter over a messy kitchen
• Saying “I’m sorry” when we lose it
• Creating safe spaces where emotions are allowed, not punished
• Being a soft place to land—not a checklist to complete

Kids don’t need perfection.
They need presence.
They need love that shows up messy, tired, and still trying.

What Letting Go Looks Like (For Me)

It looks like saying “no” without guilt.
It looks like skipping bath night and choosing cuddles instead.
It looks like crying in the bathroom, then taking a deep breath and starting fresh.
It looks like showing my children that failure is not the end—it’s part of the process.

Some days I still fall back into old patterns. But now, I notice. I pause. I remind myself: I’m not raising perfect kids, and I’m not meant to be a perfect mom.

I’m raising humans. And I’m human, too.

You Are Already Enough

So to the mama reading this and wondering if she’s doing enough—
You are.

You are showing up in love. You are trying. You are growing. That’s what matters. Let the rest fall away.

Affirmation for Today:
“I release the need to be perfect. I choose grace, presence, and love instead.”

The post Letting Go of Perfection in Parenting appeared first on moms chaos corner.

No matter how many parenting books get published there will never be one that has the answer for it all.

At the end of the day, they look up to YOU.

How does one cope?

Especially if your like me and go from new mom of one to mom of three.

It’s kind of like if motherhood was a semi and you are standing in the middle of the interstate.

BAM

It hits you and you can’t even process what happened or what to do

You just roll with it, am I right?

So what do you do to avoid admitting yourself to a hospital for overload and worry about your partner surviving with the kids?

I have been there, I did that.

It sucks and puts a permanent scar on your record just for the sake of getting away.

So, how do you proceed and handle motherhood when it becomes unbearable?

Take a moment for you

Yes, I said it, take that moment.

Even if it’s on the toilet breathing the moment of silence you get.

Take that extra couple minutes in the shower to let the water cascade over you.

Let the sounds of the water running be all you hear.

Have that moment in the car before you go inside to take that breath.

I understand there are priceless moments at stake in motherhood, but it’s worse if you miss many instead of a few for the sake of sanity.

You’re not invincible, you’re not superwoman as much as you want to be, you still have human needs.

Reach out

Oh god, the forbidden word for many, help.

What will they think of me asking for help?

Nothing, and if they do, they should probably not be around you.

The people anyone would typically reach out to for help are the ones who had to deal with it themselves and know that head-underwater feeling.

It’s easy to drown in motherhood, and it swallows you whole.

As bad as it sounds, it’s the truth.

Nothing about this is insulting to children or their existence.

If you despise this thus far, you are far too judgmental and leave.

Any working mom, in one form or another struggles sometimes.

That is okay and normal.

What’s not okay is letting everything overtake you and bury you alive.

Take things one at a time

Dare I mention being overwhelmed and overloaded?

As moms, we feel our number one job is to get everything possible done.

It makes us feel independent, whole and at peace that we can accomplish so much.

However, overloading yourself is unhealthy and causes far more stress than it’s worth

It is a must to take things in smaller portions, bite-size if you will.

Remember, you’re not alone

That other mom who looks perfect with the perfect little bow on her beautiful baby, and she’s rocking those pumps you’ve been dying to wear, has had her bad days too.

Every mom out there has had rough days.

Barely made it out of bed on time, so she had to half-ass her routine and is barely keeping it together.

Perception is a big part of what makes our minds assume people’s situations.

However, most of the time, we just happen to catch someone on a good day, or that mom on her good day stands out.

WE have all been there, the struggle is very real.

Embrace the scars

There are many who suffer prenatal, postnatal, and childhood scars that remain in our minds.

They have to be embraced, it’s hard to stuff them away.

The best you can do is embrace how it made you a better person and learn to cope better each day.

The physical scars that are carried weigh on the mind when they are seen.

As much as having an emergency cesarean bothered me at first, eventually, the pain faded, and I forgot it was there.

Unless it’s a doctor or my husband, no one can tell I’ve had a C-section.

Emotional or physical scars remain regardless of what we think of them.

You might as well embrace them and learn from them.

Motherhood is definitely a tough feat, but we wouldn’t carry the many titles we do of strength if it were easy.

In the end, you have to look at things as learning experiences and embrace what you can.

The post when motherhood becomes overwhelming appeared first on moms chaos corner.

for families with picky eaters and sensory related

I am tired of looking around and seeing picky eater approved meals, yet the tons of sites out there still seem to truly hit the nail on the head for my family.

So many people are struggling with it, and there just hasn’t been a solid resource created to help them meal plan for picky and sensory friendly meals, most of them seem to appear like they’re from a 5 star restaurant, which kudos to them but it just doesn’t work for us.

I wanted to create a site dedicated to our unique family, and hope to share with others facing the same struggles.

the mom struggling with trauma and children with trauma

Ive experienced a lot of varying childhood trauma myself, from generational, to emotional shutdowns and sexual abuse I wanted to let other moms know they’re not alone.

our older children also suffered trauma due to a rough start in life lacking necessary building blocks for healthy emotions and boundaries with others.

with both combined I have left jobs, lost jobs and underwent tons of therapy to attempt to work through it, which most therapists really struggle to even help with the extremities of my traumas.

I really want others to know that life is really hard but there are people who care and everyone matters.

being more organized in life and finances

from stretching 100 per week for groceries for a family of five, and cutting back all things possible I find fun In challenging myself to keep grocery costs low

lists, my favorite thing. our house is filled, sticky notes, dry erase and notepads for keeping track of everything.

my goal is to help simplify and make life more organized, with a bit of ADHD.

these are three things that consistently revolve in my mind and world, I want to help other moms be able to make it through and hopefully feel they’re not alone in this

feel free to drop a comment or reach out

The post Who moms chaos corner is for appeared first on moms chaos corner.

Life can be pretty hectic at times, and my goal is to share some unique ways to keep organized, keep spending down, and cope with the struggles of motherhood.

simplify meal and grocery planning

typically, I find that many sites in this space tend not to be as simple as they should be and not as cost-effective as they could be.

Where to cut back hidden expenses and save more

convenience is nice but saving more is even nicer, I have some tricks I’ve learned to help significantly cut grocery costs and stretch your money more.

mental health and trauma

this one is close to my heart as it’s something I’ve dealt with on a multitude of levels, as well as two of our kids. some things I’m still learning myself, and there are other helpful things id like to share from my journey.

being more organized

my favorite thing in the world is a list honestly, I keep sticky notes, notebooks, and planners all over the place. I’m obsessed with being able to keep note of things. sometimes it gets a little crazy being I’m ADHD but that’s okay!

strategic parenting

I believe in the power of bargaining, so I’d like to share some of the things that have and haven’t worked with my kiddos to get things accomplished.

Over the years of blogging, which I have since 2016, on varying topics of motherhood, I always come back to sharing experiences with mom and connecting with others. My goal is to help moms with making the most out of their money, strategic parenting, getting organized, mental health, and simplifying groceries.

The post 5 things I help moms with appeared first on moms chaos corner.